 Changing Patterns, Not People
I operate from the assumption that both partners have valid perspectives and are generally operating from honorable intentions. I also recognize that couples can develop patterns over time that are destructive and bring out self-protective, defensive behaviors which do not serve the relationship. Oftentimes, people believe their partner must change who they are, or they themselves must surrender their individual core values for the sake of relationship harmony. My approach focuses on uncovering each person’s core values and helping partners to articulate and honor these. An important goal of Valued Relationships is helping you stay true to your most authentic self, while also shifting relational patterns to create an environment of mutual respect and understanding, and one in which you help each other live a life consistent with your core values.
Healing Communication
Unhealthy communication can develop as an outgrowth of negative patterns spiraling out of control, and/or it may be the result of the blueprint passed down from our own families-of-origin. A second central goal of Valued Relationships is to help conversations happen in ways that are healing and productive, developing healthier communication skills to bring into the relationship. I coach you in effective communication and guide you in having the conversations that need to be had, whether these are conversations that have been previously avoided or have typically gone quickly off track. Valued Relationships will help you in healing your communication patterns, and in opening the door to communication that is healing of your relationship.
Loving Connection - Loving as Lovers
In other words: Not just loving as roommates, loving as co-parents, loving as household-managers, etc. While some of these other roles can be important as well, we don’t choose our partners based on how well they do laundry or fix the car. In the hectic pace of most couples’ lives, it is easy to focus on the day-to-day grind and to lose sight of the specialness of your partner and your relationship. The third focus of Valued Relationships is to rediscover and expand upon your appreciation of each other, strengthening your attunement, trust, and affection and intimacy.
|
